Jeri S. Williams Attorney At Law
900 Castleton Rd, Suite 210, Castle Rock, CO 80109
(303) 688-8436

Psychology of Divorce  

Psychology of Divorce.

The emotional upheaval of a divorce when a marriage comes to an end can be intense and unexpected.  The death of a marriage can have an impact similar to the death of a loved one.  Even if you are the spouse initiating the divorce, there will be an emotional toll.  There are phases you will each go through, some faster than others, before you can accept the reality of what the divorce means.  Do not be surprised if you find yourself crying frequently and for no reason.  Everyone goes a little crazy when they are going through a divorce.

Not only will you have to deal with the death of your marriage, but there are also financial and child related issues to complicate the situation.  You will have to deal with issues related to child custody (parental responsibility), child support, maintenance (alimony), property division and division of debt.  You will also have to find answers to visitation (parenting time), and what to do with the family home.  Will someone remain living there or will it have to be sold?  All of these are difficult and traumatic decisions and resolutions which have to be worked out.

There are stages you will go through before you will reach acceptance, and you should expect it to take from four to eight years to fully recover from the divorce.  Do not expect to be over this in a short amount of time, whether you have initiated the divorce or had no choice in the matter.

  • The first stage is DENIAL- Denial of the problems in the marriage, repeated arguments, and a general feeling of discontentment.  Often couples don't realize the extent of their denial until it is too late and the path to divorce is well on its way.

  • The next stage is ANGER- Couples will begin to verbally express anger and dissatisfaction with the marriage, and will act accordingly.  Marriage counseling is often attempted at this stage, but may be short-lived.  Depression often follows at this state and can last until acceptance is achieved.

  • The final Stage (and goal) is ACCEPTANCE- This may take different amounts of time for each person.  However, as you work through the stages and acknowledge they are normal reactions to divorce, you will more readily be able to accept that the marriage is over.  You will be strong enough to move on to a new life.  Sometimes this stage can be achieved during the divorce process, but it is often not until long after the legal procedures are completed. After acceptance has been realized, you will be able to begin planning for the future, growing in new and different ways, becoming closer to you children, family and friends, and ready for a new beginning.  You will finally be able to start your new life. 

    A compassionate, knowledgeable attorney can help make this journey a little easier.  Make sure you feel comfortable with your attorney, and don't be afraid or ashamed to express your feelings when necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeri S Williams
900 Castleton Rd
Suite 210
Castle Rock, CO 80109
(303) 688-8436
fax (303) 688-5844
jwilliams@castlerockattorney.net

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